Big Gay Family 2021


Meet Gay Men Differently

Meet men inside a program that offers 12 months of structured interactions and step-by-step guidance so that you create the best relationships of your life.

Get Monthly IntroductionsMeet Men Without RejectionsGet Protected From DemoralizationAvoid Years Of Toxic RelationshipsPrevent Loneliness & AnxietiesBegin Enrollment

Big Gay Family 2021


Create The best relationships of your lifeInside a private gay social program


Thanks to Big Gay Family introductions, I became more comfortable opening up and talking to other men.  Within three months of membership, I noticed a significant release of tension and stress related to meeting other gay men.

I started talking to men that I was previously afraid to talk to, and surprise, surprise – I ended up falling in love with a man that literally changed my life.

Big Gay Family is a life-saver for every gay man who wants the real experience of friendships and relationships.


New York


For the first time in my life I see myself meeting and interacting with gay men in a normal way, without fear of rejection and without fear of judgment.

I also for the first time in my life see romance as an important first step in meeting my future lover.

All of this would not be possible if I didn’t join Big Gay Family.  I recommend it to every gay man!


Fort Lauderdale


I joined the program doubting Paul’s vision and being pessimistic about the gay culture this was my last attempt at a paid service before I was ready to give up forever.

Three months into it and I am proven wrong.  Paul created a unique program that cannot be described with headlines and promises – it has to be experienced.

I hope every gay man can taste what Paul created because it can have a profound effect at how you feel about yourself and other gay men.

This entire experience has been very eye-opening and I am ready for more introductions and more of everything.

Current Member

San Francisco


It took me a few Introductions to understand everything here and it finally came to me.  Relationships are impossible without structure and consistency.

I used to think it was the men but now I see that it was the lack of structure that made my relationships go away.

We need structure for our interactions and Paul has created that structure here inside the program.

Meeting men in the program has been amazing and I can’t wait for more introductions.

Current Member



Get courses & coaching to guide you every step of the way.


Get access to high-quality men for dating and relationships.


Get world-class tools for personal development and dating.


Get advanced methodology for building gay relationships.

Nancy Clark


Learn how to apply compatibility for lifelong relationships.

Kimberly Thomas


Meet educated gay men who are excited to meet you.

Karen Wright

The culture of that time viewed gay relationships as purely sexual temporary encounters.


No one set me aside while growing up and gave me any advice or coaching on how to approach a gay relationship.

The culture of that time viewed gay relationships as purely sexual temporary encounters first, or second-class relationships at most of people who ultimately were viewed by the public as destine to die from AIDS.

Paul’s courses and coaching helped me fully understand my past relationship struggles.

He also gave me tools to make relationship choices today that are right for me, and he gave me a sense of confidence about my ability to develop a healthy gay relationship in the future.

You owe this kind of coaching to yourself and I urge you to have the courage to give it your full effort.


It’s really important that you get outside of your comfort zone and meet other people.


It’s really important that you get outside of your comfort zone and meet other people. It’s important to be yourself and not to put up a front. You don’t need to tell everything about your life but at least be willing to open up to people and share something about yourself. I highly recommend you come join us.


100,000+ Gay Men

Monthly Reach For Enrollment And With Video Podcasting

11 Years12,000 hrs

11 Years and 12,000+ hours of experience in dating and gay matchmaking.

Social AIReady

Big Gay Family is made to work with Social Artificial Intelligence

Made ForThe Future

Meet men inside a futuristic social program made by gay men.

Friends,You have an option today that never existed in the gay world until now.  Today,  you can choose social ascension instead of social primitivism.  You can choose love instead of fear.  You can choose a life of happiness instead of a life of worry.  Please read the entire page to find out how to meet gay men in a loving way and how to connect with them easily and without the frustrations you are used to tolerating.Paul Angelo

From Paul Angelo

I Promise to bring you Technology That Promotes The Highest Standard For Gay Interactions So that You Create The Best Relationships Of Your Life.

Get access to a robust system of protocols, rituals, and technologies for social governance so that friendships and relationships are DELIVERED to you inside a scientifically designed social process.

Social Contracts

Take your dating and friendships to the next level of intimacy and self-discovery.  Choose behaviors and rituals upfront to include in your social interactions.

Social Pathways

Take away passivity and random interactions and replace them with pre-planned discussions and protocols that connect you faster and deeper.

Social Extensions

Connect faster inside pre-scripted experiences that open up your mind and bring you closer together.  Overcome fear of intimacy and fear of closeness.

Roles & Committees

Interact with other gay men through Roles and Committees as part of the Governance Framework inside the Big Gay Family Social Program.

Social Arrangements

Remove uncertainty from dating and relationships.  Enter into a committed relationship with another man inside an arrangement managed by Social Contracts.

And now you can be part of a futuristic social experience that gives you access to men, pathways to connect with them, and protection from social and sexual demoralization.

See you in the Program,Paul Angelo MHA, MBA

Become A Guardian


The world has changed.  The structure of society is dissolving fast and with that our ability to have healthy relationships.

You have a choice.

You can watch society fall apart and be victimized by it, or you can take a stand and rebuild your society [gay community]!

Become A Guardian today!

Leave behind a legacy that will be celebrated by 1000’s of gay men for years to come.

Carve your name into the stone of gay social order and become an agent for the restoration of [gay] human values.

Become A Guardian today!

See you in the Program.


Be remembered for many years to come

Help rebuild the [gay] social order by promoting the importance of social ethics, structure and accountability.  Leave behind a a legacy of meaning for gay men to celebrate for many years to come.

Help others succeed At moments of drama

Promote co-operation and partnership during challenging personal dramas.  Become the mediator and help others succeed when the stakes are high and an objective advice is needed.

Encourage Personal growth and evolution

Embody the spirit of learning and growth.  Conduct monthly educational calls and teach members of BGF how to have better relationships with themselves and others.

Become A Guardian

Big Gay Family 2021


Meet Gay Men Differently

Bring Structure To Your Relationships

The Bridge

Learn how to build rapport with other members in the Program.


Go deeper with Extensions and get to know each other faster.

Social Contracts

Practice commitment and accountability by using Social Contracts.

Your First 3 Calls

Get pre-scripted interactions for the first 3 calls.

Your First 30 Days

Turn your first 30 days into a joyful and meaningful new friendship.

Your First Social Contract

Use Social Contracts for accelerated trust and bonding.

Begin Enrollment

Big Gay Family 2021


Avoid Social And Sexual Demoralization From The Hookup Apps


Since the early 1980’s the gay world has been exposed to social and sexual demoralization.

Initially, what seemed to be a freedom-oriented mindset, became a pattern of sexual addictions, devaluations and absence of human dignity.

The last 10 years of the hookup culture set into motion toxic behavioral patterns that condition everyone to hurt and traumatize others.

It is more important to protect your mental health than to meet random strangers and expose yourself to the hookup culture.

It is critical that you leave behind all hookup and dating apps that expose you to trauma and devaluation.

See you in the Program,Paul

Inside The Program You are protected from Emotional Trauma.

When you join Big Gay Family you are protected from:

Narcissism & lack of empathy.Ambivalence about feelings.Unfinished conversations.Absence of apologies.Ghosting and no-shows.Delays to meet & talk.Absence of logic & reason.Bipolar & borderline disorders.Psychopathy & sociopathy.Shame & primitivism.Sexual demoralization.Combative personalities.Closeted men.Drugs, BDSM, kink.Begin Enrollment

Big Gay Family 2021


Resources Inside Big Gay Family

Big Gay Family 2021


Unfinished Gay Humans?

are we Living In An Era When Men Are No Longer Socialized and Everyone is a Child?


Several years ago, I discovered an important concept that changed my life forever.  It was so powerful that I started teaching it to others immediately after I understood it.

It goes like this…

Not everyone is psychologically-ready to experience healthy long-term relationships.  In fact, most gay men will experience painful and tragic relationships for the rest of their lives.


Because successful relationships require 100’s of behaviors that take several decades to learn.  And given the current text-based and phone-based culture, most gay men lack enogh social contact to learn them.

So instead of being love-ready, most gay men are only sex-ready, assuming that they can substitute sex in the place of emotion and create long-term relationships.  That will never happen because emotions, not sex, are the foudation for all human relationships [read about the Human Process].

Ideally, a man would learn those behaviors during his 20’s, after meeting many gay men and socializing with them consistently and across several years.

Through consistent interactions he would learn how to connect the personality traits of those men with their ability to be good lovers.   He would learn about Narcissism, Psychopathy and Sociopathy as a way to protect himself from the BAD LOVERS.

Across the span of multiple years he would have arrived at his DEFINITION of his ideal lover, and the RECIPE to meet him and to marry him and he would no longer be confused about how to do it.

In the 100’s of moments of reflection across the span of 10 years he would be able to organize the idea of love in such a way that he is able to reject social and sexual demoralization and place himself in honest and productive social spaces to make his plans possible.

Through those consistent interactions in his 20’s, he would have a chance to discover which emotional and sexual habits to keep and which habits to remove so that his relationships can last.  This is called SOCIALIZATION.

So, psychologically, gay men have to go through multiple stages of development to be capable of long-term relationships.  Those stages are individuation, socialization and domestication.

Each stage builds on top of the previous one, giving a man the intelligence and the emotional flexibility necessary to connect successfully with other men.

Individuation is supposed to give a man a solid masculine identity, socialization is supposed to give him a chance to meet other men [socialize his identity], and domestication is supposed to teach him how to be “domesticated” with one person inside a committed, monogamous relationship.

If one of those stages is skipped – the man is left “unfinished,” and he is not capable emotionally and intellectually of producing the behaviors that make relationships possible, especially marriage and long-term commitment.

Without completing those stages of development, a man is left in a childlike state, unable to lead at moments of ambiguity, uncertainty, or crisis.

This gets even more dramatic when we take talk about the unifinished Individuation stage.

So, gay men have not been socialized properly, and also they have weak identities from lack of parenting and lack of guidance. (confusion about masculinity, femininity, gender, sex roles)

So, as a result, here is what happens when you want to love the MAN who has not been socialized and who has a weak identity…

He waits for YOU to take action, and he remains in a state of passivity, without the ability and desire to lead.  [This is how most relationships end – there is no Agency].

He will say he wants love, but on the inside, he will desire sex instead and reject you in favor of a sexual act with a stranger.

He will say he wants monogamy, but in his private life, he falls victim to his sexual impulses and is the first to cheat and lie about it.

He will say he wants to marry you, but at the first moment of conflict and drama, he runs away, blocks your number, and files for divorce.

He will say he wants to date you, but he is afraid to call you and he is texting you instead.

He will say he is available, but when you tell him you like him, he is angry that you want more from him.

He will say he wants love, but he wants to find out if you are a Total Top before he can love you.


Because he is an Unfinished Gay Human lacking enough social experiences to complete his self-discovery, and lacking enough social experiences to complete his masculine identity.

Let me explain more…

Human beings are very complex, and it takes us 20-30 years to complete our sexual development, our identities, our emotional development and our social skills.

And, most importantly, we need each other to complete those stages.

We serve as mirrors for each other.  By observing others and by witnessing their responses to our behaviors we give ourselves the fullness of self understanding.  And the more we understand ourselves, the more we can understand others and have relationships with them.

In the absence of socialization, social skills are never learned, and the desires for love and relationships are only fantasies without a chance of fulfillment.

This is easy to see when you observe the Millenials and how they are uncomfortable on the phone, how they are afraid to have a conversation, and how they are intensely afraid of conflict.  They are the perfect example of a failed SOCIALIZATION.

Without proper SOCIALIZATION, men have no opportunity to learn how to respond to each other emotionally and mentally.  Instead of falling in love, they compensate with sexuality.  Instead of being agreeable, they lead with power and control.

This is the main reason why gay men cannot connect to others and why they remain single. They have not been socialized properly to be able to align their desires with legitimate dating protocols.

As a result they lead with sex instead of emotions and values.

You might be asking – so how do I socialize myself?  Where can a gay man socialize himself so that he learns those behaviors and succeeds with relationships?

So far, Big Gay Family Social Program is the only place where you can meet many gay men in a supervised way that mimics powerful SOCIALIZATION.

Instead of taking ten years on your own, with Big Gay Family, you take only one year.  And instead of doing it alone, you have 100’s of gay men at your disposal and a powerful social platform to guide you every step of the way.

I am 100% certain that upon completing your SOCIALIZATION, you will find relationships very easy to create, and all the frustrations from the past will be long forgotten and replaced with memories of loving and long-lasting relationships.

Please join us at The Big Gay Family Social Program so that you become a Finished Gay Human and so that your future relationships are the best relationships of your life.

See you inside,



Without SOCIALIZATION, men have lots of insecurities, worries, fears, triggers, wounds and paradoxes.

It is the job of every community to offer SOCIALIZATION for all of its members so that their personalities, their psychology, and their actions are exposed to the SOCIAL PROCESS of prunning out what doesn’t work and keeping what does.

This SOCIALIZATION stage is the most important stage in our lives – this is how we grow the fastest and this is how we reach our full potential.  And most importantly – this is how we become ready to love and to receive love.  Anything before that is codependency, power and control games, and sex without love.

Hope all this makes sense now.

See you in the Program.

Begin Enrollment

Big Gay Family 2021


Your 12 Month Plan

The following Plan gives you the steps for successful friendships and relationships. You get those steps inside the Program.


Stop emotional bleeding from meeting men on hookup services.


Meet men in places that facilitate emotional and spiritual connections.


Meet 15-24 men so that you are comfortable with different personalities.


Don’t engage narcissists, sociopaths, and psychopaths.


Practice openness to overcome the fear of emotional communication.


Focus on friendships first to replenish emotional needs for companionship.


Protect yourself from social and sexual demoralization from pornography.


Protect your Introductions by including The Guardian.


Use Social Contracts to build trust quickly.


Use Social Arrangements to practice 6-month and 12-month commitments.


Get educational courses to learn skills about how to date and connect to men.


Use coaching sessions to accelerate learning and transformation.

Begin Your Adventure

Big Gay Family 2021


They Give you Low IQ Solutions so that you are always single and busy looking and always hoping but never succeeding


Most gay men have tried multiple “low-IQ” solutions that offered access to gay men via matchmaking or a dating website.  Those services only gave you access to men, without the pathways to connect with them and without the social context for trust & bonding.

Relationships do not develop inside a vacuum.  All relationships require a social context that facilitates the process of getting to know others.

Primitive solutions only focus on access to men, while the comprehensive solutions focus on both access to men and the structure for interactions.

The truth is that most men have already met their perfect lovers many times in their lives but because of the absence of social structure for interactions, those possible love affairs never developed.

Big Gay Family gives you the structure and the frameworks so that you become ready for love, you overcome resistance to intimacy, you socialize yourself with 24+ men and you reject primitive social conditioning about gay sexuality.

With our structure and 10+ years of experience, you will make fewer mistakes and you will be able to reach further than ever before in all relationships.  The best relationships of your life are around the corner waiting for you in our Program.

See you inside,


Begin Enrollment

Big Gay Family 2021


Social Engineering inside Big Gay Family Social Program

Social Dashboard

Keep track of everyone you meet with a Social Dashboard that facilitates all interactions.

Roles & Committees

Enter into Committees or Roles and meet gay men through Leadership engagements.


Receive weekly reminders about the next steps for each of your Introductions.

Quality Control

Get protection from Social Demoralization with the use of review forms and checkpoints.

Social Pathways

Meet gay men inside a  social process managed by reminders & social contracts.

Social Contracts

Practice commitment, integrity and consistency of social interactions with gay men.

Rite Of Passage

Complete your stages of development to discover your purpose and destiny.

Leadership Training

Discover your style of masculinity.  Become a man of virtue and full potential.

Video Training

Get world-class training about the gay psychology of dating, relationships and marriage.

Big Gay Family 2021


The Human Process


All human relationships have a REQUIREMENT that can NEVER be violated.  This is often referred to as the Implied Social Contract.  It is invisible but always present when human beings meet.

All healthy human relationships respect THE HUMAN [social] PROCESS, which acknowledges the physical, emotional and spiritual dimensions of life.

The ability to have a healthy and functional community depends on a collective effort to protect the Human Process.  Without it, every society, community, and family falls apart, without exception.  This is what has happened to the gay [community] world over the past 40 years.

Reducing [gay] life to sexual perspectives violates The Human Process by depriving gay men from emotional and spiritual experiences of each other.  Without emotional experiences, gay men are deprived of basic human needs of care & love and end up depressed and internally fragmented.

Gay men who begin relationships through sexual fragmentation create Trauma-Bonding and begin a lifelong cycle of hurt and acting out of hurt – eventually dying without ever experiencing a healthy loving relationship with another man.

In addition, as gay men act out their psychological fragmentation, they project their Trauma on other gay men [devalue them] and prevent them from finding wholeness and divinity.

The Hurt & Act Out [Trauma] cycle has engulfed everyone in the gay world over the past 40 years making healthy relationships impossible for those who seek them.

At Big Gay Family, we are breaking the cycle of Trauma by offering gay men an authentic experience of friendships and relationships, which for most men will be the first authentic social experience in their life.

All paths towards LOVE require respect for wholeness and a disciplined rejection of primitivism and fragmentation to avoid Trauma-Bonding and instead create relationships that last a lifetime.

Any gay man who wishes to begin on the path of love has to accept the requirements of The Human Process and meet other gay men exclusively in social contexts that facilitate it.

See you inside the Program,

–Paul Angelo

Begin Enrollment

Big Gay Family 2021


Communication Codes Inside BGF

Prevent mistakes, disrespect and self-sabotage.  Communication codes are used to facilitate conversations so that you can quickly share your intention even though you may be unable or unwilling to say exactly what you mean.

Code 10 (Status)Code 22 (Checking In)Code 33 (Let’s Continue)Code 55 (Something Is Wrong)Code 59 (Initiate Reset)Code 77 (Red Zone)Code 89 (All is Well)Code 91 (Override)Activate Code 33

Big Gay Family 2021


Social Pathways

The Bridge

The first moments of meeting another person are the most critical moments of the entire relationship.  Even a small mistake can sabotage the connection and remove any desire to continue.

To help you avoid mistakes, we created The Bridge.

The Bridge is about building the connection at the initial moment of the relationship when two strangers enter into each other lives.

Each conversation “On The Bridge” is scripted so that you avoid common mistakes coming from fear of intimacy, fear of commitment, or anticipation of rejection.

The beginning stage is the most critical first part of your relationship, and in the Program you get a lot of help to make sure you succeed.

Learn More


Extensions offer a deeper dive into personal intimacy and “rooting” of the relationship based on engagement with exciting ideas and thought-provoking discussions.

Once you “cross The Bridge,” you are ready for Extensions.  Each Extension is 30 days and gives you access to documentaries during which you engage each other with topics related to history, art, culture, and spirituality.

First, you will be asked to watch a video or listen to an audiobook, and then you will talk about it in a structured way during your monthly calls.

The purpose of each Extension is to take you outside of your personal topics and create a connection based on both learning something new together and sharing it with each other.

Learn More

Social Contracts

Accelerate the growth of your relationships with Social Contracts.  Build trust faster.  Reach deep levels of intimacy faster.  What takes gay couples 20 years to learn about each other can be done in a few months with Social Contracts.

After you complete 5 Extensions, you are ready for Social Contracts. You create your Social Contract with The Guardian.  You choose behaviors to include in the Social Contract and from that moment on, you continue under the terms of the new Social Contract.

Men are instinctively drawn to clarity and find the experience of Social Contracts relaxing.

When you use Social Contracts, you experience trust and bonding compared to gay couples who have been together for many years.

Learn More


After completing three Social Contracts, you are ready for Social Arrangements.  Social Arrangements give you the structure and the meaning for entering a 6-month or 12-month commitment with someone even though you are not sure whether he is your husband material.

Because most gay men have been negatively affected by social and sexual demoralization, their willingness to commit and volunteer monogamy will be reduced.

Social Arrangements give you a chance to practice commitment so that you can discover the obstacles and fears that stand in the way and which otherwise are not identified.

Learn More

Big Gay Family 2021


Roles Inside BGF

The Guardian

The Guardian protects the integrity of Introductions by becoming a witness and a facilitator.  The Guardian becomes the third-party facilitator during conflicts and difficulties.

As a Guardian, you manage Social Contracts and facilitate them for your assigned members.

As a Guardian, you protect other members from The Red Zone so that each Introduction is shielded from social and sexual demoralization.

Learn More

The Gate Keeper

The Gate Keeper is a defender of standards and principles that make Big Gay Family a functional and healthy community.

As a Gate Keeper you become familiar with Social Engineering concepts and you become a co-creator of the values and principles that keep Big Gay Family a loving place for everyone.

As a Gate Keeper, you conduct coaching sessions to help other members complete assignments and meet the requirements of their Rite Of Passage or a stage in the Program.

Learn More

The Oracle

The Oracle is appointed by the Community Leader.  His responsibility is to facilitate the process of rational thinking and logical analysis.

The Oracle conducts interviews with members to help remove cognitive biases, irrational thinking patterns and socially conditioned habits that stand in the way of healthy love and relationships.

The Oracle facilitates self-analysis so that all members dissolve states of denial and disassociation about sexuality, love and relationships.

Learn More

The Priest

The Priest is appointed by the Community Leader.  The Priest is involved in the activities related to the spiritual awakening of the members.

The Priest is involved in the canonical rituals such as the blessing of the Introductions and the development of protocols that help our members establish a connection to God, Divinity and Higher Powers.

The role of The Priest expands into the activities of the Rite of Passage and the rituals leading to The Initiation.

Learn More

Big Gay Family 2021

SOcial program

Create The Best Relationships Of Your Life With The Following Upgrades


Structured Process For Dating & Relationship Development

Meet men inside a structured dating process that protects you from mistakes and self-sabotage.


Immediate Protection From Lies, Rejection And Judgments

Meet gay men who are sincere about their dating pursuits and who are ready for a long-term relationship.


Monthly Coaching To Help You With Introductions

Get coaching to help you connect faster during dating and meeting our members.


Rite of Passage and Leadership training

Remove insecurities, fears and hesitations from dating and relationship pursuits.


26 Social Dynamics inside a futuristic gay program

Meet gay men inside social dynamics designed for faster intimacy and deeper connections.


Social engineering for all social activities

Be part of the revolution of gay social interactions by using social engineering and social sciences.

Meet Our Members

Big Gay Family attracts gay men who value intelligence, communication and openness.  All of our members have college education.  Our members are teachers, nurses, doctors, realtors, lawyers, managers, business owners, coaches, Reiki & spiritual healers, daytraders, musicians and artists.

Begin EnrollmentSub Text

About Paul Angelo MHA, MBA

Paul is the founder of the Big Gay Family Social Program, which offers a structured social process consisting of Social Pathways, Roles, Committees & Social Contracts.

With over 1,000 videos, Paul holds the world record for the highest number of videos about gay sexuality and gay psychology of dating & relationships.

Paul came out at the age of 19 and has over 25+ years of experience of living gay life.  Paul has lived at the following locations: Chicago, NYC, Miami, Fort Lauderdale, Denver & Colorado Springs.

Paul’s relationship experience equals to 21+ years inside three long-term relationships.

Paul is the creator of professional video-based coaching programs that teach gay men about the psychology of dating, sexuality and long-term relationships:

His coaching programs are:

Your Perfect Husband Your Perfect Dating SequenceGay Compatibility FormulaSex On Rocks Gay Relationship Mindsets

Since 2010, Paul spent 1000’s of hours helping gay men find courage and strength as they search for love and meaning in their lives.

From 2001-2010

Before becoming a relationship coach, Paul has worked as a computer programmer and personal trainer.

In 2007, Paul built a social media platform for personal trainers and physical therapists that became one of the first social platforms for wellness professionals in the world.

After graduating from a Healthcare Administration Masters Program in 2011, Paul moved away from healthcare and into personal coaching and psychology.

Paul’s knowledge of technology and computer programming made it possible to design a system for Social AI to help members of Big Gay Family nagivate through the Social Pathways and Social Contracts inside the Program.

Everyone joining Big Gay Family Social Program is expected to see advanced technology combined with creative relationship concepts.

Paul’s vision to connect sociology with mathematics with the use of Social AI and a governance system is becoming true inside Big Gay Family.

By joining Big Gay Family, members are expected to taste a unique social experience where everyone is protected from social impropriety and where members ascend further in their relationships – all with the use of technology and common sense.

The best relationships of your life are waiting for you inside Big Gay Family Social Program.

See you inside!

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